Take only what you need.: Archive

When my mom tries to wake me up at morning →

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Me: God can I ask you a question?
God: Sure 
Me: Promise you won't get mad 
God: I promise 
Me: Why did you let so much stuff happen to me today? 
God: What do you mean? 
Me: Well, I woke up late, 
God: Yes 
Me: My car took forever to start, 
God: Okay 
Me: at lunch they made my sandwich wrong & I had to wait, 
God: Huummmm... 
Me: On the way home, my phone went DEAD, just as I picked up a call..... 
God: All right 
Me: And on top of it all off, when I got home ~I just want to soak my feet in my new foot massager & relax. BUT it wouldn't work!!! Nothing went right today! Why did you do that? 
God: Let me see, the Death Angel was at your bed this morning & I had to send one of the other angels to battle him for your life. I let you sleep through that. 
Me (humbled): OH 
GOD: I didn't let your car start because there was a drunk driver on your route that would have hit you if you were on the road. 
Me (ashamed): ......... 
God: The first person who made your sandwich today was sick & I didn't want you to catch what they have, I knew you couldn't afford to miss work. 
Me (embarrassed): Ok 
God: Your phone went dead bcuz the person that was calling was going to give false witness about what you said on that call, I didn't even let you talk to them so you would be covered. 
Me (softly): I see God 
God: Oh and that foot massager, it had a shortage that was going to throw out all of the power in your house tonight. I didn't think you wanted to be in the dark. 
Me: I'm sorry God 
God: Don't be sorry, just learn to trust me.....in all things, the good & the bad. 
Me: I will trust you 
God: And don't doubt that my plan for your day is always better than your plan. 
Me: I won't God. And let me just tell you God, thank you for everything today. 
God: You're welcome child. It was just another day being your God and I love looking after my children......
 God knows what he does.

Feb 5th

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Feb 4th

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 walks into chair
me: sorry
chair: 

Feb 4th

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Straight women: Neil Patrick Harris is sexy.
Gay guys: Neil Patrick Harris is sexy.
Straight guys: Neil Patrick Harris is sexy.
Lesbians: Neil Patrick Harris is sexy.
Neil Patrick Harris: Neil Patrick Harris is sexy.

Feb 4th

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Jan 28th

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my laptop: 
my bed: 
me: AND WE'RE THE THREE BEST FRIENDS THAT ANYBODY COULD HAVE, WE'RE THE THREE BEST FRIENDS THAT ANYONE COULD HAVE, WE'RE THE THREE BEST FRIENDS THAT ANYONE COULD HAVE AND WE'LL NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER LEAVE EACH OTHER

Jan 28th

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